New Life Lessons

They say you learn something new every day. I know this to be true and I even spend time each night before I go to sleep to think back upon my day and remember at least one new thing that I learned. Usually, if you really pay attention, you'll find a few lessons each day. Life is a treasure trove of new lessons - good and bad.

First
It's possibly harder to make a left-hand turn in Florida than it is in New Jersey. Anyone who has driven in NJ knows that all your friends and family are required to live on the right-hand side of the street, or else you'll have to wave to each other across the street.

Second
The parking lots here are all one-way lanes. So there is one aisle that goes "up" the parking lot, and the next aisle comes "down". They alternate and the parking spots are super-angled so if you do happen to mess up (oops, that would be ME, the newbie), you cannot park your car without a 15-point turnabout. The aisles are extremely skinny which makes a driver-going-wrong-way-trying-to-park-in-an-angled-spot the asshole of the parking lot (again...me...every day).

Third
Speaking of parking lots, when you go to the grocery stores here, most of them do NOT have a cart return bay/area. We have one store that does have one, and I've sort of glammed onto that store. I feel comfort knowing I have an easy place to put my cart when I've finished unloading. The really "nice" high-end store here in town has NO cart return. So you would think that customers (being the high-end hoitey-toiteys that they are) would return the carts to the store lobby. Nope! They leave them rolling through the parking lot, rolling into the drive lanes, throw them up onto the landscaping islands, etc. Really, people? This, I cannot tolerate. Little things like this get me flustered.

Fourth

We're in Florida. People retire here. A LOT of them. So you will drive through town, cruising on a 45mph street and having very little traffic, loving life. Then you see flashing lights and flags and signs that kindly inform you that you are entering a "Senior Zone". Senior Zones are 35mph. All the time. Just because. If the Seniors are moving slow, then everyone else must move slow with them. Ed got a warning for speeding in a school zone a few weeks ago. Those kids demanding all this slowness don't deserve an actual ticket. Get caught speeding in a Senior Zone? You better cash in the insurance policy, because the Po-Po are gonna get ya!

And the Fifth lesson...

...the most poignant one for me right now…buy a beach towel and umbrella to keep in the car. Better yet, carry a purse big enough to carry them both. I went out to run errands today and the skies were starting to cloud up. That’s totally normal for this time of year. We get that dinner-time t-storm which can be a shortie or an all-nighter, we just have to watch the radar. So this afternoon, I went to the grocery store and a storm came upon us. Me and a slew of customers were waiting out the storm outside the front doors, under the overhang. I had nothing frozen or even cold, so I could wait all day if I had to. The HUGE storm just got worse. We had lightning bolting down into the parking lot, huge wind picking up the store’s furniture displays and tumbling them through the parking lot. The wind was making the automatic doors stay open and the hail was rolling and blowing into the store. Everyone outside left their carts and ran into the store for cover. So, from now on, I’m gonna carry myself an umbrella everywhere I go.

So, in summary:
1. Don’t turn RIGHT.
2. Don’t drive UP the DOWN lane.
3. Shopping Carts sleep where they lie.
4. Slow down.
5. Towel & Umbrella in the car…always.

I'm sure there is more to come...stay tuned.