Arachnophobia

When we were on vacation in Florida last week, Ed, Izzi, and I were hanging out in Mom-Mom and Pop-Pops backyard waiting for the Alligator to show up in the pond. (He did show up, by the way, but we only saw his snout and eye peeking out of the water for a few minutes).

Izzi had found a cool stick, just about her size, to use as a sword. She was marching around the backyard, swashing her sword, acting out her favorite fairytale – Beauty and the Beast. While she was sparring with the imaginary bad guys, she walked over to our bench and pointed to her sword and said, “Look, Mommy, it’s a Spider”.

Well, in case you readers have forgotten, I have a severe case of Arachnophobia. I can’t handle spiders in any size, shape, or form. My natural fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. I leapt from the bench, falling and screeching as I scrambled to get far, far away. (Don’t mind the fact that I left my poor daughter to fend for herself against the gigantic evil spider that was crawling on her sword).

It took Isabelle a few seconds to register what was going on, but she then became afraid…VERY afraid. She stood there shaking with the now-evil sword in her hand. Not sure what to do, she dropped the stick, started to scream and cry, and ran in the same direction I did.

Ed, in a moment of “what the hell is going on?” and trying to grab Iz to calm her down, started to laugh out loud at the scene. His two favorite girls, torn in a fit of fear, over a piece of….moss?

As it turns out, there was no spider. What Izzi thought was a spider was a big spiky (and kind of cool actually) piece of mossy grass stuff that grows around the pond in their backyard.

But it was too late. Isabelle is now afraid of spiders, and could possibly now be a lifelong arachnaphobe like her Mom. Sorry, Isabelle. Not all fairytales end happily ever after.

Yer So Nasty!

A few years ago, I was in Manhattan with Don and Susan. We were walking down the street when a Mother was walking toward us with a little girl, about the same age that Isabelle is now. She was screaming at her daughter, telling her how naaaaaasty she was. And I mean screaming! In a vile voice as nasty as she thought her own Toddler was. We wanted to grab the poor girl and take her to the nearest CPS office.

Fast forward to this week, Isabelle and I were at the First Mariner Arena in Baltimore. I took Isabelle to the “Disney on Ice – Princess Wishes” show. We had great seats, and had a lovely Mommy-Daughter Day together. And unfortunately, Isabelle learned a LOT of new words.

A group filed into the row in front of us about 30 minutes before the show started. Mom #1 with three kids – a boy about 7 years old, a girl about 4, and a baby in arms. Then came the other family – Mom #2 with a baby and a Toddler girl. Mom #2 went for food (taking her own baby) and left Mom #1 with her own 3 kids and the extra Toddler. Mom #1 went on for the next 20 minutes cussing up a storm at the 4 kids in her charge, including her own and the one that didn’t even belong to her.

Just to set the scene, the kids were being well-behaved by normal standards. But apparently, Mom #1 didn’t think so. Some overheard things were:

• STOP asking me for that! I told you NO and that means NO! (that part was fine). What f’n part of NO do you NOT understand? Maybe I should give you a good back-hand across your head to get you to understand!

• How about I pull your pants down in front of all these people and whoop you’re a$$, would that get your attention?

• (spoken to the “other” Toddler while Mom #2 was off getting food): I can’t believe your Mother bought you that $hit (talking about Cotton Candy). If you f’n get sick in my car again, I’m gonna be pi$$ed, you sick little monkey! (yes, she called this child a monkey and to make matters worse, she was definitively a mixed-race child).

• If you don’t sit down in that seat, I’m gonna split you’re a$$ open with a hacksaw when we get home so you won’t be able to sit for a week at school

I don’t know why I’m blogging about this other than it really affected me, not to mention Isabelle. She was staring at the woman with wide eyes and a mouth open. I didn’t know what to say. She didn’t understand why Mom #1 was so angry. I didn’t understand why Mom #1 even bothered to bring her children to a fun Disney on Ice show when she clearly didn’t have any interest in bringing joy to her childrens’ lives.

I’ll post a happier message about the day later this week because we really did have an awesome fun day. Love your kids, nieces, nephews, cousins, and grandkids. They really aren't nasty little beasts.

Where there is smoke, there is no fire...

This post is to serve as a public service announcement to my family and friends. Did you know that residential smoke detectors have a life expectancy of only 7 years? And if your smoke detector also offers CO detection, then the lifespan reduces to only 5 years? Because I didn't until last night.

Last night while making dinner, I had a kitchen full of smoke after putting a cold sauce into a too-hot skillet on the stovetop. The smoke was thick, I had to crack a window. And once I got some fresh air, my mind cleared enough to realize that neither of the TWO smoke detectors on the first floor of our house sounded.

Now, I am really good about taking care of my smoke detectors. I change the batteries when the clocks go forward and back. I dust them to make sure their vents are clear. I press the test button once a month to make sure they are working. (OK, I confess, I'm pyrophobic).

All systems were good to go. Until they weren't. When they did not trigger last night with all the smoke, I then got a match out and held fire right up to the detectors. The one in the living room finally triggered but the one in Isabelle's room never did.

I called the 800 number on the device and they informed me about the 5 and 7 year lifespans. Our detectors double as CO detectors so ours were in the 5-year category. Who knew???

Now the really scary thing is -- I just purchased that detector in 2007 when I was pregnant with Isabelle. We wanted Isabelle's room to have it's own detector since it's right off of the kitchen. But, when I called the 800 number they asked me for the manufacture date. (When you unscrew your detectors from the ceiling/wall, there is a teeny tiny little sticker on the back of the device that has a date - that is your manufacture date). Our detector had a date of 1999!!! I just bought it in 2007, which means I purchased a smoke detector that was already past its life expectancy when I brought it home. What???

So please, after you read this, go check all of your smoke detectors and/or carbon monoxide detectors. Unscrew them from the wall, check the date on the back and if they are older than 5 -- go buy new ones. I'm replacing all three of ours today, and I'll be checking the dates before I leave the store.

You learn something new every day. I'm glad I learned this lesson the easy way.