Click, Clack, Clique

I chaperoned Isabelle's first Field Trip today, to the County Fair, and I felt like I woke up in a bad dream, back on the grade school playground for the first time, wondering who would be my friend in an uncertain world. Why did none of my girlfriends warn me of the Preschool Mom Cliques that I was going to encounter?

There are 12 kids in Izzi's class, and I think I counted 6 chaperones? I figured, naively, that all 12 kids, 2 teachers, and 6 chaperones would hang out together today, getting to know one another, comparing stories, and sharing a few laughs. I was mistaken. Boy, was I mistaken.

When the kids got off the bus, each chaperone was handed their own child, plus a random kid they've never met with enough tickets to get in the gate.

All the chaperones were off and running with their kids, as I stood at the gate looking very perplexed. Did I miss the memo? Did they hand out an itinerary and I didn't get one? Where are we supposed to meet up?

I found the teacher and asked her what the plan was and she simply said, "Have fun! This is kind of how our Field Trips go, all the chaperones just do whatever the kids want to do. We don’t try to stick together. Just meet back at the bus at 11:20.”

I looked at my phone and saw 9:02 on the display. Two. Hours. Eighteen. Minutes. To. Go.

So off I went, a solo adult with two 3-year-old girls, in a sea of amped up Preschoolers and dazed chaperones. We made our way up the hill through the vendors who were opening their booths for the day. Isabelle’s friend (let’s call her Betsy) asked me to buy her every toy and piece of sugar we passed. I had to kindly say no and try to divert the girls’ attention to something else…like the next vendor…offering sugar…and plastic garbage…only to say no again.

I ran into a pair of Moms who were chaperoning their own 2 girls plus a third. I thought it would be fun for the girls to hang out together so I introduced myself to one of the Moms who was closest to me when standing at the pigpen (literally, a pen full of 200-pound hogs).

I simply said, “Hi, I’m Jen, Isabelle’s Mom.” She literally looked at me, said “Hi”, and turned her back and walked away. No introduction. No joke. Thanks for playing, but your kind isn’t welcome here.

This was the same Mom who was at Back-to-School night last week and made a snide remark about how “working Moms” should not volunteer their time if they aren’t serious about helping out.

As I found out, these 3 girls from class knew each other (and had been friends) before they got to this school. Enter the Premiere Preschool Mom Clique. I think I’m on the other side of that Iron Curtain, at least until the Cold war ends.

I had to laugh as she walked away with a slurp of pig s#it on her cork wedge sandals. Watch out, Mom Clique #1. Just wait ‘til I recruit my posse.